"My wife and I created a successful business 17 years ago: it is spread throughout Ukraine, we have more than 70 employees.

With the beginning of the war, there was no thought of running away.

This is our country, which we love and cannot imagine life without it.

And we had no right to abandon those people who have been working for us for many years.

We managed to keep the business, we pay a lot of taxes and I understand what is needed at home.

But as soon as I read some disturbing news from the front, I think that I should be there right now," Oleksiy admits.

"Today in our society there is a request and demand for a male defender," says Vitaliy Shmargun, professor of the Department of Psychology of the National Academy of Sciences of Ukraine.

- Many men have a feeling of guilt in the rear, because the main basic needs are not realized: security, self-respect and self-expression.

The man realizes that he cannot influence these things as before.

There is anger, dissatisfaction with oneself.

If someone went to war, he is definitely associated with a positive image.

And I, they say, sit in the rear, run the business, pay taxes, but I'm not there.

Compared to this collective image of the hero, he automatically loses."

The feeling of guilt in many cases is shaped by our upbringing and our stereotypes.  

"My Dmytro is used to working hard and being the master of his own destiny," says his wife Halyna.

- Now he is very helpful to the Armed Forces, he will donate a lot of money.

People like him keep the country's economy going.

And he understands all this, but still "eats" himself from the inside, which is not at the front.

I say: "Are you going to go, will you make a big profit?

And who will help our boys?".

I myself will not handle logistics, tenders, or purchases." 

Photo by envato elements

In the first days, one of the company's employees, Vadim, went to fight.

It is constantly at the hottest point. 

"I was very lucky with my employer.

It was pleasant to work in the company, because in addition to the salary, we always had bonuses, gifts for holidays, and corporate parties.

But I didn't realize how lucky it was until after a full-scale invasion.

Always strict at work, our boss turned out to be a very sincere and powerful person, a true patriot.

In the first months, he provided invaluable and very valuable help to our unit.

And now, while I'm here, he financially supports my family every month, even though I didn't ask him for it.

And I know that I can always count on him," Vadim shares.

The husband of Natalia, an employee of the regional branch, also went to the front as a volunteer.

"What my boss did for my husband and the guys from his battalion is priceless.

There were constant calls with questions: "How to help?

What do you need?”

Natalya says.

- In the beginning there were no elementary things.

Then we needed Bronics, then a pickup truck.

The first one was shot - Dmytro bought the second one.

The man was injured in September and was sent to hospital.

My supervisor continues to support us in post-operative treatment, and has not stopped helping my husband's siblings.

Ukraine is supported by such people." 

Even on a subconscious level, men's social behavior is focused on achieving results.

The basis is the desire for independence and self-respect.

"Everyone wants to participate in the victory, to feel needed.

However, men in the rear often feel complacent.

But there is no need to artificially make yourself guilty.

Let's imagine that there is not a single man on the street, in transport, in shops, because everyone went to fight.

And what's next?

Everything will stop and we will lose.

It is important to perceive today through the prism of self-mobilization: to prepare and become better in those areas that you identify for yourself.

War is not only in the trenches - it is everywhere.

And the rear is precisely the antidote to war," Vitaliy Shmargun convinces.

Our peaceful life is not perceived by the military at the front as it might seem to us.

The rear is important for them both from the point of view of provision and from the point of view of the very meaning of war.

"When I first came on vacation, which was in June, I was shocked by the contrast between life at the front and in Kyiv.

But I realized that we are on the front line precisely for the sake of a normal life.

When I see that people can afford to live more or less fully, it means that we are not there in vain.

And we have a place to return to.

And there should be men here who will support this life: electricians who will repair the network, locksmiths, drivers, managers and businessmen who will bring much more benefit by providing work for other people and making donations," Vadim assures. 

Photo by envato elements

"It is obvious that women themselves would not be able to provide the front with products, medicine and weapons, including all industries, - says Natalya.

- My husband admits that after returning from the war, he feels morally exhausted.

He says that when all the soldiers return, not many of them will have the strength to become activists and move the country forward.

That's why there should be people fighting for constructive changes here, in the rear, right now." 

So the men who stay behind shouldn't feel guilty about it. 

"It is necessary to forgive yourself for everything that you punish yourself with: they say that someone was hurt, but you were not.

It is necessary to realistically assess the situation and be more organized and purposeful.

We are deprived of the opportunity to plan, but the key phrase is to act.

Analyze your capabilities and abilities and help as much as you can in your place.

The war will catch up with each of us.

No one was left on the sidelines.

We are all tangential to the big idea and are now sailing in the same boat without oars or sails.

We will be able to swim out only if we all start rowing with our hands in the right direction - in the direction of Victory," Vitaly Shmargun is confident.