Ruslana Fadeyenko is a Ukrainian refugee in Italy.

She is one of the eight million Ukrainians who, according to the UN, left their homeland in search of shelter by the beginning of 2023.

However, against the background of the general support and sincere desire of Europeans to help the displaced people, we should not lose our vigilance.

There are people in any country who are ready to take advantage of the vulnerability of others.

"My husband didn't just sit around in Kyiv, he constantly monitored social networks.

And on Facebook, he joined a group of private Italian volunteers and met Giovanni.

And he found us a family: husband, wife, two children," says Ruslana. 

This is how a woman and her 12-year-old daughter got to the Italian town of Barbata.

Then they could not imagine how this acquaintance would end. 

"It is necessary to check the documents of the person providing assistance: does he have a volunteer certificate, does he have any documents that prove belonging to representatives of state authorities or non-governmental organizations," advises forced migrants Maryna Legenka, legal consultant of "La Strada - Ukraine" ".

"After reuniting the Ukrainian and Italian families, Giovanni as an honest volunteer had to control the situation, this is part of the duties of a volunteer.

The only thing Giovanni did regularly was video calls from him unannounced.

It was annoying to some extent," continues Ruslan's story. 

Later, Ruslana began to notice Giovani's strange behavior towards her daughter: "First of all, he was constantly taking pictures of us, saying it was for him.

He took pictures, took pictures, took pictures and constantly said "bella, bella, bella, bella" (from Italian - beauty).

Once he got the ball, Kiri says: "Let me teach you how to play volleyball."

Kira refused, but he insisted.

He tried to touch her hands, saying, this is how you take it, this is how you do it, this is how you hit the ball.

And constantly complimented her.

All this was with me, maybe some thought flashed through my mind, but I attributed everything to the Italian mentality." 

"People become extremely vulnerable and gullible during stress," psychologist Olga Shershnyova comments on the situation.

- Therefore, our emigrants can now open up and fully trust those who invite them abroad.

This should not be done, because people are different, every situation can have its own pitfalls." 

In the end, Kira began to tell her mother that she disliked the overly friendly Giovanni.

As soon as he was near, the girl tensed up. 

"When a child reports alarming signals about quality, that someone is overly attentive to her, someone is touching her, it should never be ignored," warns Olga Shershnyova.

- The mother needs to listen to the child very carefully, not to blame him in any way, not to react too violently, because this can scare the child, and then he will withdraw into himself.

React as calmly as possible, listen and promise: "I will take care of you, you will be safe."

And, of course, to act, not to be silent, to prioritize the safety of your child." 

Ruslana began looking for other volunteers to get out of Giovanni's care and avoid communication with him.

And a few weeks later, a friend shocked her with the news: "My friend Luda calls me, all stressed out, says: "Do you know that Giovanni was taken away by the police?

He is a serial pedophile."

I immediately remembered his behavior towards Kira: why was he constantly taking pictures of us, why was he so intrusive." 

Meanwhile, Ruslana and her daughter were offered free accommodation in the family of another volunteer named Salvatore: "There was a family there - a husband, a wife and a 5-month-old baby.

I was very happy.

But when Salvatore took us to his place, we arrived and there was no one there.

I asked where his family was.

And he says: "We broke up six months ago." 

"Offers of free housing should be treated very carefully," says legal consultant Maryna Legenka.

- It is better to use established state guarantees in the host country.

Let them seem less comfortable, but it is very important that it is safe." 

"In the evening, when I already went out before going to sleep to wish him a good night, he pulled me to him and wanted to kiss me," Ruslana says about Salvatore's "kindness".

- I touched his cheek and started talking to him: "You are so kind, thank you very much, you have such a sincere heart."

Actually, that was the end of it.

But I was already scared.

I went to our bedroom and wrote to my husband about this incident.

And I just didn't sleep that night." 

"If they start hinting at obscene things, then of course you should say "stop" at the same moment.

Do it at the household level, or even at the legal level, by reporting this incident.

Because your dignity is above all else, and you, I emphasize, owe nothing to anyone," the psychologist emphasizes. 

"In the morning, when Kira went to wash herself in the bathroom, he, let's say, went on an assault," continues Ruslana Fadeyenko.

- He went into the bedroom, Kira was in the bathroom, put his hands on my waist, under my jacket and... his hands were where they shouldn't be.

I took these hands away from me.

I said "no" in such a tone that he understood, retreated." 

Frightened, Ruslana immediately started writing to her husband and looking for support among other volunteers.

"It is very important to have a code word that will inform a loved one in Ukraine that you are in danger," advises Marina Legenka.

- Of course, you must remember that you cannot give your passport to anyone.

And in any case, do not trust strangers." 

"I grabbed the documents, quickly locked myself in the bathroom.

We were taken away at half past five, he took the things out silently, muttering.

And they took us to Milan," says Ruslana. 

"In order to prevent such situations, the first thing that is important is to talk about everything on the shore: under what conditions you are going, who pays for what, what you are entitled to, what you will provide for yourself, and what the host offers you ”, advises Olena Shershnyova. 

This applies not only to such critical situations as the one that happened to Ruslana. 

"If they come into your room, if they touch your things, you can always say, 'stop, I can't do that with me,'" says the psychologist.

- People really may not understand where the boundaries are with you, so help them, set these boundaries, explain, calmly talk and say: "Please, let's agree, you don't do this, I don't do that, we don't come here, we do not discuss such a topic."

Because borders are not only physical, they are also psychological. 

If you are uncomfortable living in a new family, you have every right to say so and look for other conditions.

Remember, your rights are protected by international law. 

"A woman should have the contacts of the embassy or consulate of Ukraine in the country of her stay, as well as other non-governmental organizations that can quickly respond to the situation, provide assistance, place her in a shelter," Marina Legenka emphasizes. 

Fortunately, experts point out that, in percentage terms, cases similar to the story of Ruslana and her daughter are exceptions to the rule rather than a trend.

"I understood that it is necessary to go under the wing of state volunteering," concludes Ruslana Fadeyenko.

- State social protection brought us together with a fund that was engaged in searching for families.

People who were ready to accept Ukrainians.

And in this way we found Khrystyna, with whom we have been living since September.

Now, when we are already under the patronage of state volunteering, I know where to turn in case of anything, I know that I am under protection, my child is under protection."