This phrase has been familiar in recent years, especially as a new parent, Ah Tian, who often takes winning at the starting line as his parenting motto, and wants his daughter in the upper kindergarten class to participate in many interest classes and interview classes, including learning piano, violin, ice skating, recitation, Mandarin, pinyin and mathematics. In addition to money, there is also the trouble of catching up with that dense time, the purpose is to make her daughter have outstanding performance in many aspects, and she can be admitted to a prestigious school, which is considered a victory. Unfortunately, the closer the interview date gets, the more her daughter's performance regresses, and Tim also understands that her daughter is under too much pressure.

Written by Liu Yucheng, associate consultant of the School of Mental Health, Qingshan Hospital

It is gratifying for a child to win the championship, but one defeat will not determine his future failure. On the other hand, if you can nurture your children to accept failure, know how to reflect and learn the factors of success, this is the key to building resilience. (File photo)

Of course, as a parent, it is natural to want to give your child the best education, if life is really like a long-distance run, every parent will also want to give their children a pair of the best running shoes, find the best coach for them, if the ability can, even want to pave the road they will run, and use all the material to support their children, but don't forget that this road still has to be completed by the children themselves. It is gratifying for a child to win the championship, but one defeat will not determine his future failure. On the other hand, if you can nurture your children to accept failure, know how to reflect and learn the factors of success, this is the key to building resilience.

As a parent, I prefer to make the best preparation for my child to stand in front of the starting line, cheer him on along the way, and then cheer for their efforts at the finish line. (VCG Image)

In addition, research has shown that social support is also a key part of resilience building, and if the mother-child relationship and friendship are sacrificed to catch up with the curriculum, children will lose an important pillar in the face of difficulties. Finally, if you want to build resilience, finding meaning is the third key, so that children appreciate their efforts and progress, and it is more important to enjoy learning interest classes than to blindly chase grades.

Rather than winning at the starting line and losing at the finish line, as a parent, I would like to make the best preparation for the child standing in front of the starting line, cheering him along the way, and then cheering for their efforts at the finish line!

(Seal carving works against the wind)

Castle Peak Hospital. (File photo/Photo by Zheng Zifeng)

"Hong Kong 01" "01 Medical Clinic", in collaboration with the School of Mental Health of Castle Peak Hospital, publishes a column written by medical staff on alternate Tuesdays.

"Cheng" means to let the water settle and then become clear. May you quietly savor each little story, see the subtleties, understand your own and others' hearts, and see things and feelings more clearly. See clearly, know how to cherish, may this column soothe your emotional waves, enjoy the quiet years. I hope you can share this experience with the people you care about, so that you can have one more partner on the road to a better life.

Details of the story have been revised to protect patient privacy.

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