Lu Qiuyuan.

(File photo; photo by reporter Wang Wenlin)

[Entertainment Channel/Comprehensive Report] Should children get married and become parents to help?

A mother confided to Lu Qiuyuan, a well-known lawyer, that the couple had just paid off their children’s college student loans, and now they still have mortgages to pay, and now their son is going to hold a wedding. Face it?" In this regard, Lu Qiuyuan unceremoniously persuaded: "No money? If you don't have money, don't get married! Do you know how much money you will have after marriage?" Paralleled 10 "boundary lines" for this mother's reference.

The mother said that all she has encountered so far are parents who arrange their children's weddings. "I feel that if we don't help him, we are not worthy of being parents." Facing the doubts faced by mothers, Lu Qiuyuan asked her 4 questions, namely "When your son gets married, it means he is an adult. Why do you still have to be responsible for him?", "Does your son know how much he will spend after getting married?", "Although love is the fate of the past life, it is also the test of the present life. Do you owe him? How much, did you step on his ancestral grave in the previous life?", "In the future, my son will ask you to sell the house that you and your husband live in for the sake of face. Can you do it?"

Please read on...

"Where is your boundary?" Lu Qiuyuan explained, the so-called boundary is when and to what extent do you plan to take care of this son?

When he was still underage, of course you had an obligation to help him grow up, but since he is already an adult, there should be boundaries between you and him.

10-Point Boundary Suggestions

●When it comes to money, you should be clear about the division. Before you die, you should not be advised or controlled by him.

●If you want to sponsor any of his activities, you should only consider helping him after negotiation between the two parties when you are able to do it, are willing, do not ask for anything in return, and have no conditions.

●If you want to live at home, you can, and you can consider it on the premise of the spouse's "sincere consent".

But please ask them to pay rent, water and electricity, don't always think about letting them live at home, you can save money to buy a house.

●Don't help to take care of their children, you should go to the mountains and rivers everywhere, not play with grandchildren.

●Whether he wants to get married and how to handle the wedding are all his own business.

You can give advice, but how to do it is his own decision.

●Don't lend money to him or act as his guarantor unless you have discussed and considered it.

●If you have already given it, don't think about getting it back, or feel that the other party has an obligation to repay you.

●Don't get involved in his housework, what he does with his spouse is his choice and decision.

●He has a dispute with his spouse, you don't care, you don't care, you really don't care.

If he complains to you, just listen and don't say anything.

●Think of him as family, equal family, family with boundaries, not your son.

The time for him to babble has passed, now, it is time for him to speak well and be a good man.

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