【Family plus.

Parent-child reception room] Be a smart and stupid parent

Photo/Dazhi Image

Text / Zhou Suzhen

I was once invited to dinner at a college best friend's house, and I was deeply impressed by their parent-child interaction.

"My mother is slow and inefficient. Once she helped me wash the lunch box and it was not clean." My best friend's 10-year-old daughter took the initiative to arrange the table after eating, and her movements were neat and skillful. I gave a thumbs up to my brother. Nizi digs the bottom without any sympathy: "She doesn't cook well. Fortunately, my brother is very good. He can cook, otherwise we will be malnourished." "No, your mother is in college. Times know everything.” My best friend gave a meaningful smile, and when I looked at her precious children, I finally had an epiphany: My best friend is really a “smart and stupid parent.”

The previous "helicopter parents" are outdated, and the advanced version of "lawnmower parents" has become the "mainstream" - when they realize the setbacks, they will remove all obstacles in their children's life, and eagerly prepare their children for success. smooth road.

The intentions of such parents are beyond reproach. Paradoxically, many studies have shown that children who can think independently, disobey their parents’ authoritative manipulation, break traditional rules, and face challenges independently are more likely to become the winning group in life.

Reflect on your painstakingly "managing" (or manipulating) your children, are you just "busting"?

Please try to be a "DIY" parent.

Please read on...

Direction guide:

When the class was handed over, the former instructor gave me several pairs of scissors and utility knives: "These 'dangerous items', some students take out to play with in class, and some don't know how to use them. They almost cut themselves, so I confiscated them and kept them." Isn't it because you are afraid that your child will be injured, so you also "prepare for a rainy day"?

Children are meant to "teach", not "help" or "forbid".

You can't always guard your child's side. Injury is often the driving force behind "learning". Pain is another motivating element.

Use the role of a past person as an inheritor of experience, guide children's life skills, teach children to go through difficulties smoothly, and give children positive encouragement and support.

Ignore ignores:

With fewer births, it is almost normal for families to focus their lives on children, but as a result, children lose the space to live independently, think independently and solve problems.

Try "ignoring" the child.

The problem of a child's partial eclipse has caused a lot of trouble for her colleagues. In a special lecture, she mentioned: "The child will look for something to eat when he is hungry. This is the instinct of survival." , but prepare meals when the child is hungry, and do not prepare additional meals if they are not to his or her appetite.

After a period of time, the child is no longer picky eater, but also knows how to cherish the value of food.

Is this cruel?

In fact, thinking too much about children is the culprit that stifles the growth of children.

Yen desires:

Children, like you and me, need "goals" to do things and learn.

Helping your child conceive and plan a career blueprint is actually your "goal", not necessarily in line with your child, which makes it difficult to stimulate your child's desire to learn.

Try to respect the child's choice, make appropriate adjustments to your experience sharing, let the child think and judge independently in communication as much as possible, and gain a balance by understanding each other's needs in the process of value clarification.

The lack of interest comes from being uninterested in things, arousing the inner desire of children, and learning and growing can do more with less.

Please believe that children need to have the ability to stand in the society, and the ability is cultivated by various setbacks and challenges.

Don't worry that your child's world will stop because of your letting go. Be a "smart and stupid parent".

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