He suddenly screams, although a minute ago he was gently stroking his head.

You feel guilty even though you have done nothing wrong.

You nervously think about how well it all started, and honestly don't understand why you're wearing a dress you don't like and have no friends at all.

Who is a manipulator and abuser, why women are attracted to them and how to get rid of them - read on. 

How to understand that he is manipulating: 9 main signs

It is quite difficult to understand that you are being manipulated.

As a rule, you will feel guilty and afraid to think that you might actually be a victim of a manipulator.

However, there are

that indicate manipulation almost immediately:

8 popular manipulations

"closer-further" technique.

He often disappears, makes you nervous and is constantly "busy".

He keeps the woman in suspense and does everything to make her worry.

As an award offers a drop of attention.

Humiliation.

Often draws attention to shortcomings and compares with others.

As a result, a woman has a lot of complexes, low self-esteem, and she sees a future only with this man, because he accepts her with such baggage of "flaws".

Threat of conflict.

A woman knows in advance that if she does not do as her partner demands, a storm of negativity awaits her.

It is impossible to stop him, but to prevent it is simple - by doing "as he said".

"pretend me" mode.

A man pretends that he does not want something.

The woman is disturbed by questions about why so.

The main purpose of this method is to make her worry and not give her the opportunity to relax even for a second.

As a result, an endless game of "win his attention or nod your head" begins.

The main goal of the game and at the same time the reward is the sparkle in his eyes.

If you're lucky, you can hear back something from the series: "Sorry, I didn't hear.

Did you say something?".

A sudden change in mood.

Here he is soft and caring, a second passes — and he is the complete opposite.

Such mood swings argue that the partner is to blame for this.

But another second and he becomes white and fluffy again.

Technique "on a leash".

He is gone for a long time, here he falls on you like snow on your head.

All this suddenness is accompanied by his standard “hello, how are you”.

And then... nothing.

Absolutely.

He does not go beyond this "standard".

In this case, the man takes a very comfortable position: he does not allow an emotional connection with the woman, but at the same time creates the appearance that she is.

There are two options here: either the woman does not want to understand, or she really does not understand that there is no perspective in such a relationship.

Unfortunately, pressure.

He is a master of sharing life stories, from which a lump appears in the throat and tears well up in the eyes.

And immediately she rushes to save the unfortunate, offering her attention, sex, money, whatever.

In fact, in 9 out of 10 cases, these stories are made up.

When a woman herself allows herself to be manipulated, a man's interest flares up even more.

Which women are subject to manipulation?

Manipulators target women who cannot say "no", constantly find many flaws in themselves, do not have a clear position in life, a formed inner core and do not even understand what they need from life in general.

The risk group also includes those women in whom the word "loneliness" causes fear - they doubt themselves, do not differ in determination.

They can give their husband expensive gifts, so that in the end, if they are very lucky, they will hear the long-awaited "you are well done" in response.

It is also sad that such women themselves are looking for a manipulator.

The reason is that they are used to being under someone's control: in childhood they were manipulated by parents, teachers and other influential adults.

As a result, women in relationships with manipulative men eventually cannot even decide what they really want.

One's own thought quickly disappears.

They turn into little girls again: they can't do anything and their every step is determined by another person.

Such behavior turns their psyche upside down, does everything so that they do not even think about their desires and forget about their needs.

They often burden themselves with the question: "What did I do wrong this time?".

To live as he wants is the principle of their relationship.

How to resist a manipulator

Work on your self-esteem.

When a woman is confident and satisfied with herself, the manipulator's interest in her immediately fades.

She will manage without his handouts, because she knows what she is worth.

For this you need to work on yourself and your problems.

Find the root of all evil that makes you doubt yourself and your actions, and cut it down finally.

Don't give in.

You must have a clear understanding of your personal boundaries.

Know what you want.

To be strong.

Is he pressing?

Are you angry?

Humiliating?

No problems!

Just show that there is only one player in this manipulation, and that is himself.

And you are not going to participate in his games.

Don't make excuses.

Manipulators most often make a woman feel guilty, feel sorry for herself and him, and be ashamed of her desires and thoughts.

But in reality, it is precisely these "strong", "self-sufficient" men who are the most insecure and broken.

You need to remember this and in no case waste your emotions, energy and strength on endless arguments and explanations.

Eliminate your fears.

Give up the fear of being alone and the depressing question: "Who needs me anyway?".

What you put out into the universe reflects back to you.

Remember that the purpose of your life is not a struggle with men and with yourself.

Manipulation is not a story about happy life and love.

Your task: to enjoy life, to be happy and self-sufficient.

An abuser is...

Abuse

in translation means "violence".

It can be economic, physical, sexual and emotional.

Most often, abusers find people who either consciously or unconsciously like to be in the role of a victim.

As psychologists say, this is a very strong union, because there is dependence in it - the victim depends on the abuser, and vice versa.

Abusive relationships

are relationships in which one person (the abuser) violates the personal boundaries of another through violence (physical, sexual, psychological, or economic).

In this way, the abuser wants to suppress the will of another person and subdue it.

Psychologists name

According to statistics, in the relationship between a man and a woman, in 90% of cases, the abuser is the man.

After all, they have a more stable psyche and prevail in physical strength.

Many women often do not suspect that they have fallen not to a "handsome prince", but to an unprincipled tyrant man.

Why a woman cannot break off a relationship with an abuser

People often do not understand the line between care and abuse.

A person feels an emotional and physical attachment to an abusive partner:

How to help yourself

Previously

, we wrote about how to avoid abuse at work.